When My God... When? [Chapter 2A]

Stories by Rutendo L. Nzira : Pakapera first term ndopandakaona kuti zvekudzokera kuchikoro zvatadza, it was a waste of time to keep hoping...

Stories by Rutendo L. Nzira: Pakapera first term ndopandakaona kuti zvekudzokera kuchikoro zvatadza, it was a waste of time to keep hoping and planning about it.

Ndaida kundotsvaga basa asi sekuru vakanditi wave kuda kundoita chipfambi muJerera saka vaisada. Ambuya vakange vazviwanira mushandi wemahara, vaindipa mitemo hobho, and a list of errands which even she, would forget nekuwandisa kwazvo. Apa vaingoona zvandakanganisa kuita or zvandasiya, zvandaiita zvakanaka zvaisaonekwa and she would not show appreciation, paive pafood for work pamba pasekuru nambuya vangu apa. Zvange zvisina kuipa, at least they were the only family I had. Ndaishanda zvekusvika muviri wave kurwadza, ndaimuka in the early hours of the day ndichiita sendarara 10 minutes dzega nekuneta. Basa racho vaitoita sevave kuona rese rinoda kuitwa ne one day nekuti ndaivepo.

Nemumwe musi sekuru Chomu vakapinda mukitchen ndatorara ndokunditi ndivaunzire mvura yekunwa kumba kwavairara.

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Ndakadaidzira kuti ko ingopindaika mutore asi vakange vatoenda. Ndakatevera nekapu hombe yemvura, ndakapinda vakamira vakavhara musuo, it irritated me very much because I was tired and sleepy so ndaingoda kuvapa mvura ndiri pamusuo pavo kwete zvekupinda zvavange vondiitisa izvi. Ndaida kubva ndadzokera kundorara.

When My God... When? [Chapter 2A]

Vakatora mvura ndokutsveta kwakadaro, vakabva vandibata ruoko vachindiswededza kwavari, rumwe ruoko ruchindisvinyanga mazamu, I tried to scream asi vakandivhara muromo neruoko rwainhuwa nhamo yekugehena. I tried to set myself free vakandisaidzira pasi, ndakasvika ndichirovera musoro pasamende ndikarwadziwa zvekuti ndakamboti zii. When I gained consciousness about a minute later sekuru Chomu was on top of me, dress rangu range randivhara kumeso. I felt his naked manhood searching muzvidya zvangu. Ah this man was raping me, nooo, ndakaita simba ndokuvasaidzira kwakadaro uko, ndakatora mupinyi webadza waive mumba umu ndokupotsera kwavaive. Wakasvika uchindozorora patsoka yavo uchinyatsoita basa randange ndautuma nemo nemo, expertly. I managed to flee ndichimhanyira kumba kwairara ambuya. Sekuru Mukanya vakange vasipo vaimboenda Triangle kwavaive seasonal worker aitema nzimbe.
Ambuya vakavhura musuo wavo vakabata candle; “Chiiko nhaiwe Gire?”

I was still breathless, “….. sekuru Chomu ….. sekuru” ndakadaro ndichidedera ndichizembera madziro kuti ndisadonha.
“Aita seiko Chomu mwana wangu?” Ambuya vakadaro.
“Vange vachida kundirhepa!” ambuya vakaita kunge munhu ange aona nyoka then on closer look ndokuzoona kuti it was just a rope.

Vakaridza tsamwa ndokutendeuka vachipinda mumba mavo, “Ndatoti Chomu akuvara ini. Ndozvaungandimutsira izvozvo? Ndozvaunoda kuti raini rese rimuke rinzwe izvozvo?”. Vakaridza tsamwa again ini ndaitevera kumashure kwavo, “Enda undorara kukitchen uko, uri kuda chiiko? Uri kunditeverera chii?” vakadaro vasingavanzi kuti ndaivasembura.
“Ndiri kutya ini, ko vakanditevera futi ….” Ndakadaro ndichiita kudemba kuti ambuya vandirwirewo from the evil hands of her own son.

Ambuya vakarovanisa maoko avo in cruel disgust, “Nhaiwe unondishura? Tokuchengeta pano wave kutiita mabhinya nhai? Kana mumba mangu musingararike enda kuguva kwaamai vako uko, ndotoshaya rugare pamba pangu nekuda kwako? Saka ndodzinga mwana wangu pamusha pake nekuda kwemwana wehure rakazviendesa kumakuva nekukurumidza nekuda kwekutadza kuzvibata kwaro? Unondishura nherera iwe. Buda mumba mangu ndirare.” Vakazopedzisa kutaura vachindisaidzira panze ndokuvhara musuo wavo.

Ndakapererwa, it was midnight, pakati pahwo usiku. Ndakamhanya kumatongo amai vangu, sedzimba dzakange dzisina anogara, uswa hwakange hwabva, misuo yave kudyiwa nemujuru. Ndakandoti kwati kumadziro, ndiri mukona yeround hut yamai vangu. Pakazopera chiveve chekutya ndopandakanzwa kupindwa nemhepo, ndakange ndisina underwear, my panties, I did not even know kwarakange rasara during my scuffle with sekuru Chomu.

Ndakagara pasi chaipo mumba maimbove matairara ini namai vangu. Misodzi yaibva pamoyo ndoyakachemeka apa, ndichirwadziwa nezvaive upenyu hwangu. Pfungwa dzangu dzakaumba Jesus Christ of Nazareth, He was the only One who could change my situation. Ndakamuumba ndikaona image yake sitting right there opposite me, I addressed Him, “Imi Jesu handiti makati ‘imi mose makaremerwa uyai ndikuzorodzei’ ndichazorora riiniko? When my God will I find peace? Chiiko ichi chiri kuitika muupenyu hwangu? Ndiriniko nhai Mwari pamuchazouyawo kuti muchinje upenyu hwangu? Baba vangu vakafa, vari very poor hapana kana chavakatisiira ini namai. Amai vairwara zvaindirwadza tiri vaviri, vobva vafa futi. Ah Mwari imimi mucharamba makanyarara kusvika riniko? Wasn’t kufa kwamai vangu bad enough? Wasn’t it the height of it all? When, my God, when are you going to change my life? Ko chibataiwoka henyu mwoyo yevandinogara navo vandichengetewo zvakanaka? Ko how about sending the spirit of death to me.”

Ndakagomera nekurwadziwa. Ndakaita mashoko ekutaura, ndakatadza kufungira mumoyo, Mwari vaifanira kunzwa kutaura kwangu. Ndakachema kupinda musi wafa mai vangu, ndipo pandakanyatsoziva kuti ambuya vaisave nehanya neupenyu hwangu. Usiku uhwu I wished kuti dai Jesu akachiuya kuzotora vatsvene zvivharane, tione kuti vana Chomu vanoenda kupi. I wished kuti dai mangwana ashaikwa, dai zuva raramba kubuda kuchive iko kuguma kwenyika, pave nekutongwa kukuru. When was this second coming? Kuti zvese zvibva zvangopera titange new creation. Ndopakatanga kubuda the effects and consequences of death and being an orphan. Meaning I was all alone.

Kuchiedza sekuru Chomu vakamuka vakazvimba gumbo chaizvo, vaitotadza kufamba. Ndakaona ndodaidzwa kudare repamusha apa, vakange vadaidza mupurisa waSabhuku nevamwewo vakuru vemuraini and other distant relatives. Vanhu vakambokwazisana, sekuru Chomu ndokupiwa mukana wekutaura, ko ndivozve naamai vavo vakange vadaidza musangano uyu.

Sekuru Chomu vakati; “Ndakudaidzaiwo vakuru vemusha uno kuti ndikuudzei zvandakaitirwa nemwana wavatete vangu Giresi. Akauya mumba mandange ndakarara akakumbira kuti tirare tese, tisangane pabonde, pandakaramba ndichimutsiura kuti ko muzukuru waita sei akabva anditema nemupini webadza apa.” Vakadaro vachitambanudza gumbo kuratidza vanhu vese gumbo ravo raipenya nekuzvimba uye mupini webadza wacho. I was shocked, more than shocked, kuti nyaya yange yamira zvakadai. Ndakasimudzwa ndobvunzwawo.
“Sekuru Chomu vanonyepa ndivo vaida kundibata chibharo ndosaka ndakazovatema nemupini webadza.” Sekuru Chomu nambuya mai Chomu vakaita mahon’era akuramba zvandaitaura.
“Zvakaitikira kupi izvi?” mupurisa wasabhuku akandibvunza.
“Mumba munorara sekuru Chomu” Ndakadaro.
“Dzaive nguvai” vakabvunza zvakare.
“Paive pakati peusiku” ndakadarozve
“Sakai iwe ndiwe wakavinga Chomu kumba kwaanorara, pakati peusiku?” kuti “pakati peusiku” was said in a bold exaggerated tone.
“Ehe, ndakaendako kuno ….” Pandakangoti “ehe” vanhu vese vakati “aaaah” vamwe vachidzungudza misoro yavo kunge yaive nenjere or pfungwa dziri fair enough to listen to a young innocent girl. Mashoko ekuti “vana vamazuvano, hakana hunhu, kufana mai, kane mhepo, ndomakuna kunaka aya, ngakadzingwe muraini,zvakari kamhunzamusha, inga amai Chomu ari munhamo kuchengeta zvakadai, ngakandoshanda kubhawa kwaRambanai, finish!” Akadururika kubva muvanhu. Ndaiita sendiri kuroverwa zvipikiri by every word that came from each person insulting and condemning me.
Vakabudisa pant rangu ndokurisimudza kuti vanhu vese vaone, vakati kwandiri; “Chipfeko ndechani ichi?” ndakatsikitsira ndakaita sendabviswa hembe pamberi pevanhu vese. What kind of shame and embarrassment was this? “Unobvuma kuti ndechako here Gire” Ndakagutsurira vanhu vakatizve “aaaaah”
“Ungatiudzewo here kuti chipfeko ichi change chichiitei mumba maChomu?”
“Sekuru Chomu vaida kundibata chibharo ndopachakasara” Ndakazodaro.
I knew no one believed my explanations at this point, but I had to say the truth for reference and history’s sake. One day someone was going to make reference to this day.

Asi vatongi vedare vakaenderera; “Kana panobatwa mukadzi chibharo panoitwa kurwisana, nekumarana nekubvaruka kwembatya. Asi dare rino harisi kuona zvese izvozvo pauri Giresi. Iwewe wakaenda kumba kwa sekuru vako kundokumbira bonde, ndokukumura zvipfeko zvako wega, pawakanyadziswa vachiramba wakabva wafunga kuvarevera nhema nekuvakuvadza handiti?” mutongi akadaro. Akaenderera achiti; “ Asi dai ari Chomu akauya kumba kwaunorara taiwana matauriro. Tainyatsoona kuti hwave hwubhinya.”
“Handizvo zvakaitika, sekuru Chomu vakati ndivavigire mvura yekunwa pandakaenda nayo ndopavakandibata.” Ndakaedza kutsanangura.
“Ko zvemvura zvaa kubuda iyezvino sei? Wadii kutaura zvese patatanga kukubvunza? Uri kuramba uchiruka nhema seiko nhai mwana iwe?” Mupurisa waSabhuku akataura nehasha.
“Ndange ndichida kutaura asi hamuna kundipa mukana” ndakadaro zvakare.
“Chitaura zvese zvakaitika” vamwe vadhara vakazodaro.
“Hapachina chimwe, ndozvese zvandataura” Ndakadaro ndakasikitsira. Ndainzwa shouts and exclamations of judgement over my perceived callousness.

Vakambozevezerana vese ndokuti; “Nhai Chomu todii nemuzukuru wako? Mai Mukanya todii nemwana wamunochengeta uyu?”

Ambuya mai Chomu vakasimuka ndokuti; “rufu runoparira, vatete pavaivepo zvese izvi taisazviziva. Kana tichaziva zvino kuti vatete vakafa nekushungurudzika nei ndozvimwe zvotobuda pano. Kana dai aibatwa chibharo akatadza kuuyawo kuzondiudza kana kuridza mhere? Musha wese ungadai wakanzwaka.” Pese paiisa ambuya mai Chomu comma or full stop paiita mahon’era ekuwirirana navo, and some sounds of sympathising with her.


Vachitsigirwa kudai vakazokanda mubvunzo kudare, “Nhai madzimai, pane anobatwa chibharo akanyarara?” vakabvunza and obviously madzimai ese akati hakuna zvakadaro, zvange zvatanga neni and zvaiperera pandiri, hapanazve mukadzi aibatwa chibharo akasaridza mhere agonyararazve kushaya kana wekuudza, sezvakange zvaitwa neni Grace Nyasha.

Ambuya pavakatsigirwa kudai vakaita manyemwe ndokuita the angel in my life vachiti; “Ini ndinongoti sezvo sekuru vacho zvavasipo ndinomuregerera, chipiyaniso changu, mwana wandinochengeta saka ndini ndinofanira kumudzidzisa unhu. Saka tomboenda hedu kumba tozoona kana vauya. Ndatenda vedare.” Dare rese rakaombera maoko vachitenda kunaka kwemoyo wambuya vangu. Waimuwanepi munhu airegerera faster faster sambuya mai Chomu kudai?

Chomu rakaramba rakanyarara zvaro, ko handiti zvaaida zvakange zvabudirira? Dare rakabva raparara. So the judgement was passed on, I was the guilty one. It was fine, after all, munhu wemukadzi ukasanzi unohura unonzi unoroya, ini ndakange ndave hure. Ndakafamba ndega kuenda kumba, hapana akada kuonekwa ari pedyo neni, ndakaita kunge ndine the dreaded Ebola I tell you.
Ndakawana ndakamirirwa navo vese; pange potyisa pamusha pacho. Ndakashaya kana zvekuzvidemba nazvo. My last night meeting with The Christ had yielded nothing, no results. Things were getting even worse, ndakashaya kuti ndomuti chii, nekure kure I was asking …. but when my God …. When was this going to end?
“Wangozviona wegaka kuti pamba pano hatichina nzvimbo yako, tingatozopedzisira taurayana kana kuisana kujere. Une munyama sewaamai vako vakatadza kuchengeteka kwavange vakaroorwa. Votisiirawo mhepo yemunyama wavo pano. Dai wambondotsvaga hama dzekwababa vako.”

I could tolerate anything she would say about me, but insulting my mother was beyond me. My mother was my yardstick of life, everything I knew, everything I am, was because of my mother. I was not going to let this woman insult the memory of my mother. So handina kuvapindura, ndakandopinda mumba ndokutora kabag kandakange ndapiwa kuCare International kainge kekuisa Laptop. Ndakaisa dress rangu neuniform, rimwe dress ndiro randakange ndakapfeka. Ndakaisa all my school reports, birth certificate, chitupa chamai, death certificate ravo neCard rekuhospital pavakazoshaya, ndaigara ndichiriverenga kuda kuziva kuti vaimbonzwei, besides mbuya Godobori’s diagnosis yekunwiwa mazamu nezvidhoma. Card rekuHospital ndiro rega raive connection yangu navo muupenyu nerufu rwavo, ndoyaive estate yamai vangu.

Ndakabuda neseri kweimba ndokumhanya kutarred road, ndakazofamba ndave kupinda murank yePublic Transport. Ndakasvika pana driver weIpsum yange yotobuda murank ndokuti; “Mukoma Manu, ndokumbirawo kuenda kuMasvingo nechikwereti, vatete vangu vakandimirira paRank yemuMasvingo” akamboramba akanditarisa, maybe weighing the pros and cons of doing that, asi akazongoti; “Pinda ugare.” Achimutsa mota takananga to the city of Masvingo.

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