Saving My Marriage [Part 4]

Stories By Lovely Rutendo Nzira : Time passed by, we had several “innocent” outings with Tino. He was playing several roles in my life, a g...

Stories By Lovely Rutendo Nzira: Time passed by, we had several “innocent” outings with Tino. He was playing several roles in my life, a good friend taking away my loneliness, a big brother to guide me, and a dad to protect me. I loved every bit of it or I loved him… scary.

One day we went for a jazz show, kwainakidza, I was surprised that by 8pm Tino ange ave kuti tiende kumba, he drove and parked paaigara at Montagu Garden flats, just two roads away from my Restaurant.

“I decided kuti uzomboonawo kumba kwangu nhasi.” Ndakaramba ndakanyarara, why didn’t we discuss this ndisati ndamira padoor pake ave kutokiinura. We went in, it was nice and tidy but still I could see and smell that it was a bachelor’s flat. I made myself comfortable on the couch. He offered me a drink and we continued hedu nenyaya dzedu.
“Can I ask you for a favor, ndiperekedzewo ku South Africa, for a business meeting…” akadaro achizogara padivi pangu holding my hand.
“How and why?” I was astonished
“I love you, Stella, very much”.

It was nice to flirt and enjoy each other’s company, no commitment, do as I please with him, zvandaita ndaita zvandatadzawo ndizvozvo, no questions asked, no expectations. I was not sure about confirming our feelings for each other, it was going to change a lot of things, and it was going to make me too self conscious. I did not want to ruin that, I wanted what we had, and I told him so.
He smiled achinyanya kuswedera kwandiri, he kissed me on my lips, I did not kiss him back, and neither did I resist the kiss, I went numb, and he said;
“I like the way you think babe, but, I want to make love to you, I want you to be my woman, mine alone, and unless we confirm our feelings and commitment, that can’t happen.” He was right, we were not friends with benefits or no strings attached kind of people, we respected each other, and life had given us this type of love.
“I love you too Tino….” I wanted to cry; he hugged me, I could hear the beating of our hearts together. Hana dzedu dzichiroveranawo. He gave me a deep passionate kiss, as I surrendered my body to him... 

Saving My Marriage

At midnight he dropped me off at home, I felt rejuvenated, he had awakened all the feminine feelings I had forgotten I possessed. I fell in love with him zvekunyura nemusoro like a little girl.
To my happiness and satisfaction, Tino did not disappoint at all, he was always available when I needed him. I stopped his breakfast and supper visits at the Restaurant; I would do it at his place, passionately, sometimes in my birthday suit. Which I never did with the man I married. We shared our lives, I became a wife to the man next door, not to the man I was sharing a house with, how unfair. Ndange ndave kutya kuti if this Tino guy turns out to be a fake, ndaizosara ndiri worse than what Dan had done to me.

With Dan, the process was gradual, we would fight and make up several times, and the family support was too good. Our fights seemed normal marital life, as if it’s expected. Pazvakatanga, I did not really see it coming because paive nezvakawanda zvekuita, our families, raising kids, building the business. Even when it happened ndakasara ndakabatirira pafamily, vana nebusiness. It was comforting and zvaindipa mukana wekujaira the change and letting go.

Now with Tino, we only had ourselves to offer and to share, and it was going to be more painful. We were adults, mature; and experience had taught us that life is not about WHAT you have, but WHO you have. We had each other, we had found each other, our relationship meant so much to me, and it was my soul food. Tino had brought some sanity back into my life. I don’t want to compare the love I had with Tino to the love I once had for Dan, I feel like it will be an insult to my kids. 

Nonetheless, with Tino, I decided to love, I knew what I was doing, I knew what was at stake, what it meant if I am exposed, eish. However, I still took the choice and that bold step to love and be loved. It was mature love, based not only on emotions but a will to live, to love and be loved like never before. Tino was the greatest gift I had found in my mid-life, he had given me true love and a second chance to love again. I had no remorse, no regret about my secret passion with Tino…. I was not ashamed to stand before my family and my in-laws and declare my love for him, that was how strong my love for this man was. Akaita hake Dan, he pushed me in the arms of my true love… Dai aizviziva.

Time passed by, I was always with “my Tino” as I affectionately called him, and he called me “my girl”, I felt very young and sexy. I got so used to him, so much that it was going back to Dan that felt like cheating. There were days I spent the nights at Tino’s place and we lived like we had no boundaries. We had crossed all boundaries, bulldozed all boundaries, by ginya.

Love is a very strong emotion which is difficult to hide; it’s easy to see people who are in love. I changed physically and emotionally, we had same size dreadlocks, we wore the same colors every day. Dan started noticing the change in me; I started dressing up, going to the gym and had a flat tummy and the African bikini body. For the first time, Dan akatanga kuuya kuzoita supper kuRestaurant, and just popping in at the restaurant to check on me. At times vaisvika vese naTino, and those were the most uncomfortable moments I had. I could see kuti vashandi vangu vaizviona kuti madam boss has a skeleton in the cupboard but no one dared sold me out.

Iye Tino wacho started becoming jealous kana ndikatadza kudaira fone ndiri kumba kwangu, he felt cheated. He also started complaining that I was not being fair to him, giving a fraction of myself while he had given his all. Takatangawo our fights, he was pressurizing me to leave baba Fadzie. That was not part of the deal when we started this. My aim was to find my own happiness outside my marriage, while keeping and saving my marriage, I had to remain Mrs Stella Mukonoweshuro, till death do us part.

I had my own keys to Tino’s apartment, I would join him in his bed and had our quality secret moments every day….. it was getting sweeter everyday.

That week, I was booked for lunch by a Company vaiita birthday party raboss wavo saka ndaifanira kudzokera as soon as possible. Ndakasvika paRestaurant around 0845hrs and Dan was there, akange ari kuseri kukitchen waiting for me. Ndakambomira trying to gather courage to face him. I was guilty, u know, I still felt Tino inside of me, his caresses, his kisses and here I was standing in front of my husband.
“May I know where my wife, Mrs Mukonoweshuro is coming from?” Dan akadaro in a very serious tone. Ndakaramba ndakanyarara. I went inside kuti kubvunda kwandaiita kusaonekwa and put on my kitchen boots and the chef’s attire, ndakamudzokera ndikati;
“Pane zvawange uchida here? Inga ndabva kumba wani”
“Wabuda mumba na6am yes, you were supposed to be here by 0630 hours at the latest, where are you coming from?”

I know Dan, haanyari noise and public indecency akajaira marank nemahwindi. I had to go back home timbonopedza nyaya iyi. Why now? I had become so comfortable with my sneaking around I did not want any disturbances. Takaenda kumba takadungamidzana, by the time we got home I had regained my composure I had to try to get what he know before ndazvitengesa.

“What kind of an embarrassment is this? Uri kuda chii kuRestaurant?”
“Mai Fadzai, mukadzi wangu, can’t you answer a simple question, wange uchibva kupiko? Netsoka for almost 3hrs wasiya mota paRestaurant”.
“Pane kwandaenda naKundai she came to pick me up at the restaurant I had to help her prepare for her party before ndatanga basa paRestaurant, nhasi we have two bookings.” I said as the lies flow one after another. ,mn
“You know very well I don’t like your friend, mange maendaka kutwun’anga twenyu twekuMbare” akadaro Dan achiratidza simba rehubaba. Hoo ndozvauri kufunga, I smiled ndichiswedera paduze naye,
“Sorry daddy that will not happen again, I could not turn her down, you know Kundai is my friend”.
“Ya, and limit your movements mai Fadzie, pane zvisiri straight zvauri kuita”, my heart stopped a beat, ndichitya kuti aizoti chii. Akaenderera achiti, “you are keeping bad company twumashamwari twako twusingazikanwi kwatwunogara, zvikaenderera I will burn that Restaurant down”
Ndakafemereka, a big sigh of relief ndokuti; “ Ndazvinzwa, can I go back,” I had wasted my time, ndange ndanyanyomuvhunduka haana zvaanoziva uyu. 

The whole day I was confused, why now, I did not want Dan to disturb me. Pane zvaanoziva here? Pane zvaakanzwa here? I started to think possible things zvaangaite kana akandibata red handed. I also feared losing Tino, he had come strongly on me because he did not see me as a married woman. Kumuudza kuti Dan ave kuda kuita husband will be a blow, I had led Tino on, gave him false hopes zvandange ndave kutadza kusanganisa. I loved Tino, he was a part of me, I did not want to disappoint him.

That Friday, as usual, I had plans naTino, taive nenzvimbo dzataienda, asi taisarudza kwatisingaonekwi nevanhu. So taitsvaga kwataigara mumota. Takati tichisvika paJazz show, Dan akabva afona;
“Mai Fadzie, ndiri kuRestaurant, I won’t be served nemawaiter ako, huya.”
Hana yangu yakarova. This is one of the things zvaisvota Tino, I still had respect for Dan as a husband. Ndakafemedzeka ndokuti;
“Ndabuda ini …..”
“Ndiri kuti dzoka ….”

Zvange zvave zvenharo, zvehasha, ndakabva ndafunga zvaaisindiudza.
“What part of stay away from my private life don’t you understand?” I said it so strongly imitating his voice zvekuti akazvinzwa kuti I was quoting him. 

Ndakabva ndangodzima fone. Tino haana zvaakacommenter, akasiyana nazvo, takamboita nguva takanyarara gaining some composure.
“Toenda here kuCape Town, that trip its next week.” Tino akazodaro to break the silence.
“Yes, yes dear, tinoenda. The Restaurant will be fine.”
“The Restaurant? Or your ex-husband??”

Ndaizeza this discussion with Tino, we have been trying to avoid it for a long time.
“Nothing I cannot take care of, everything is under control. Am with you now.” Ndakadaro ndichitsvoda mumwe wangu. Tino akadzungudza musoro ndokuti; “When we started our relationship wakati iwewe you had your own bedroom and mange mave ne over a year without sleeping together, right?”

Ndakangokwanisa kugutsurira,achibva anditarisa ndokuti; “Nekutevererana kwamave kuita so, wakadzokeraka mubedroom make? Or wave kuronga kudzokera? Be honest with me…” As usual, Tino is always calm and collected, he has that voice rinondiisa panzvimbo, there is no room for shouting, screaming and yelling when you are with this fine gentleman. 

Ndakafemedzeka femedzeka ndichishaya zvekutaura, I was feeling so guilty zvekushaya chekutaura; ndichiri kufunga kuti ndotii akabva ati;
“Is that a yes to everything I said?”
“NO” ndakaita kudaidzira. “I love you Tino, very much, ndinokuda sha” ndakadaro ndichiruma muromo wangu wepasi. Tino akaramba akanditarisa achimutsa mota kuti tiende kumba kwake, haana kundibvunza, haana kuda kuti titaurirane nezvazvo, asi patakapinda mumba make he locked and put away the keys. Ndaizokwanisa kubuda mangwana kwaedza, apedza zvaaida neni, ave kuda kuti ndibude. Stories By Lovely Rutendo Nzira

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